We are not born confident. Confidence grows over time and events in our lives can help or hinder our confidence. Seldom though do we think of about how our thoughts can influence our feelings of wellbeing. You may have heard some say “Change your thoughts, change your life.” Well, it is true that our thoughts have great power over how we feel and behave and so by observing them we offer ourselves an opportunity for personal growth, i.e. to feel more confident, positive and motivated.
Think about your own internal chatter, what I mean is the stuff you say to yourself such as the time you are late for an important appointment, when you spill food down your new, white top or, perhaps, you say something inappropriate that you regret. Inwardly you may say “I’m so stupid!” or use some other self deprecating words which put you down and label you as ‘not enough’.
Right now, think about your internal chatter from the moment you woke today to this moment now. Imagine putting it all together in an audio track and then playing it back to yourself. Now ask yourself:
- Does it sound positive and encouraging?
- Does the track make you feel good?
- Does it energise you?
- Does it motivate you?
- If it were for sale, would you buy it?
- Is your confidence boosted by it?
If the answer is ‘NO” then CONGRATULATIONS because you can now begin to focus on changing your inner talk into the best coach money can buy. Imagine waking up every day feeling more confident, positive and motivated so you can achieve your best. Imagine being less critical of yourself and more accepting of your way of being! What that equates to is different for everyone, but this is an area that once addressed reaps rewards. Similar to reviewing the gas and electric bill when you want to make the largest savings on your household bills!
Many of my clients comment on how critical their inner voice is. I hear talk of “you’re so bad at this”; “there you go again, failing again”; “give up, you have no hope”; “you’re useless”; “you’re ugly”; “you look stupid”. I could go on but you get the idea.
Heard repeatedly, these negative statements can easily seep into the very core of your being, destroying your confidence and you begin to believe them. Such emotionally abusive statements are so damaging to one’s self esteem and would grind anyone down over time into thinking “I’m not enough”. You wouldn’t talk to a good friend like that, would you?
In my therapy work we may explore a person’s internal chatter. Often clients are shocked when they discover that they speak to their self in such a discouraging way and consequently, work towards changing it. As a result they develop a greater understanding and acceptance of themselves, becoming more patient and optimistic. Often, they report improvements in their self-esteem and feel more motivated to go after their dreams.
You can do this too! It’s about becoming an observer and paying attention to your thoughts and the ones you feed yourself. Your mind is extremely powerful and can easily discourage you from reaching your potential if you are feeding it with negative messages. In other words, take control of your mind rather than your mind controlling you!
Instagram is full of “influencers” but your greatest influencer is you! What you tell yourself has the greatest influence over your life. Therefore feeding yourself encouraging, positive messages can really boost your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing. By changing that inner chatter to talk that supports and encourages, you will experience an increase in your self esteem, energy and motivation.
Personally I love the story below that highlights this below. After reading it please ask yourself, “which wolf do you feed most?”
To help you feed the good wolf there are self-help audio tonics available to download now from the therapy bubble:
This tonic uses a garden as a metaphor for your life. Your garden can be beautiful, start cultivating it today by letting go of the past and making room for new growth.