We all have an inner critic, the inner voice that criticises, berates and reduces our confidence & self-esteem if we allow it.
Think about your own internal chatter for a moment. That inner voice that curses you when late for an important appointment, or when you spill food down your new, white top or, perhaps, you say something inappropriate that you regret. Inwardly you may say “I’m so stupid!” or use some other self deprecating words which berate and label you as ‘not enough’.
Right now, think about your inner critic from the moment you woke today to this moment of now. Imagine putting it all together in an audio track and then playing it back to yourself.
Ask yourself:
- Does it sound positive and encouraging?
- Does the track make you feel good?
- Does it energise you?
- Does it motivate you?
- If it were for sale, would you buy it?
- Is your confidence boosted by it?
If the answer is ‘NO” then CONGRATULATIONS because it’s time to start focussing on changing your inner talk! Imagine for a moment, waking up every day feeling less critical and more self compassionate. Imagine feeling more confident, positive and motivated because you doubt yourself less. What this equates to is different for everyone, but this is an area that once addressed reaps rewards.
“Those who are able to quieten their inner voice are happier; their sense of relief can be palpable.”
Ethan Kross-Psychologist and Neuroscientist
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/jan/16/inner-voice-self-criticism-psychologist-ethan-kross-chatter-voice-head
What Does The Inner Critic Sound Like?
I hear many people comment on their inner critic. I hear talk of “you’re so bad at this”; “there you go again, failing again”; “give up, you have no hope”; “you’re useless”; “you’re ugly”; “you look stupid”. I could go on but you get the idea?
Heard repeatedly, these negative statements can easily seep into the very core of your being, destroying your confidence as you begin to believe them. Such emotionally abusive statements are so damaging to one’s self esteem and would grind anyone down over time into thinking “I’m not enough”. I doubt you’d talk to a good friend like that?
Ending The Negative Self Talk
Sometimes, in therapy, we explore the person’s internal chatter. Often clients are shocked when they discover that their inner chatter is negative and discouraging. They then work towards changing it. As a result they develop a greater understanding and acceptance of themselves, becoming more patient, optimistic and less critical. All in all they experience a boost in their self esteem.
You can do this too! It’s about becoming an observer and paying attention to your inner voice. What does it say, how does it sound? By noticing if it’s negative and berating you can then commit to changing it.
Are You An Influencer?
Instagram is full of “influencers” and interestingly, one of life’s greatest influencers is your own inner voice. As such, what you say to yourself greatly influences your life. By feeding yourself encouraging, supportive and positive messages you can really boost your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing. So how about retiring your inner critic and employing your own influencer and make a positive change?
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you -and inside every other person too.
The Grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Grandpa, which wolf will win?“
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed“.
Anon
Audio’s from The Therapy Bubble that cultivates positive self talk:
This audio will help you to let go of negativity from your past and present, along with self-limiting thoughts and beliefs. By releasing negative influences that once held you back you can begin to live more fully in the present. This guided meditation uses a garden as a metaphor for your life. Start cultivating your garden today by clearing a space for new growth so your garden can be fruitful and beautiful.
